What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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