So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
