Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dignity is for republicans.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i drank out of a bidet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
