so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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