I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
