just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
