i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
