Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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