We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
