I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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