dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
