omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
