ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
that is very illegal...i love you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
