no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
