Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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