i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
