She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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