with your own penis?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
