think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize