Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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