that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize