his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There are leaves in my underwear?
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