Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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