Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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