Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Panties = found
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
