I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
