I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
