Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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