Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think people are normalizing furries
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize