I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize