Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize