were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
