So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
