i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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