just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
