Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
