Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize