just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
