My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
