ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love having hate sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
