oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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