Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
