If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
