sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
