dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
