He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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