Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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