i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
