I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she pinky promised me she was 18
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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