Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
