I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
