She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
