On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
