who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
