I puked a lego.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
