Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
