she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize