"it" just moved
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't deserve a penis
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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