Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
