She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
